Research shows that discussing married life is more important than planning the wedding

According to research carried out by Co-operative Legal Services, the reason behind the majority of divorce cases is that couples spend more time planning their wedding than discussing details of their future married life.

The research found that the biggest triggers for arguments are interfering in-laws, politics, and infidelity along with every-day issues such as household chores. However, the study found that four out of ten married couples didn’t discuss major issues such as whether to have children or where to live until after they were married.

The study questioned both married couples and divorcees and found that just under two thirds didn’t discuss their lifestyle choices or career ambitions to help them decide if they were compatible before marriage. Just over 40 per cent said they didn’t discuss the issue of children and a 45 per cent said they hadn’t properly discussed where they would live.

However, amongst divorcees, these issues were listed as having caused the most damage to their marriage. The study asked what the main cause of their divorce was and whilst a third cited infidelity, one in seven cited lack of compatibility and less than one in ten cited differences in political beliefs. 11 per cent of those who took part in the study placed the blame for their divorce on interfering in-laws.

When questioned about underlying tensions within their marriage, three out of ten couples mentioned arguments about when they would see family and parents, although of the couples still married; parents were cited as the greatest positive influence on their marriage.

Previous studies have found that on average, couples spend 18 months and £20,000 planning their wedding. Christina Blacklaws, Director of Family Law at The Co-Operative Legal Services, said: “When getting engaged, couples spend so much effort planning for the wedding day of their dreams that they lose sight of the next 50 years of married life.

“Sadly, this is the underlying reason for the majority of divorces, as couples with different ideas and expectations start to drift apart and no longer connect a few years down the track.”

 

 

 

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